Why is THAT news?

Taylor Swift didn't win anything at the ACMA's, oh DAAARN for her. What inside me is supposed to give a shit about that exactly? My guess as to why she didn't win anything is because people are FINALLY over that stupid Kanye West incident, but that's my guess. A guess that never really needed to cross my mind, yet and still there are stories covering things as miniscule as this... and even worse. Why am I being updated on Larry King's divorce (or lack thereof), why is it important that someone captured a photograph of Stedman checking out Oprah's assets? I find it even more creepy that these ridiculous stories actually captivate my attention. For example, there's a very apparent infestation of locusts in Australia. Their answer? Put it on pizza. How deliciously mundane. Seriously though, what's the purpose of telling me about a man who let his eleven year old drive? WHY IS THAT NEWS?

The most simplistic of answers is this: it isn't. Nobody really cares about this crap, but the poor bastard that wasted a good two or three hours of his life on the report just wanted to keep his job and part of that does indeed include putting out some pretty drivel-tastic 'news' in an effort to buff up his current resume. No news stories = no job, so I can't exactly hate these people for doing what they do. They simply need to feed their families just like you or me. Granted, sometimes the stories can be a little comical. Like the poor guy that put together a cookbook and published 20,000 of them before realizing that one of his recepies called for "salt and freshly ground black people". Yes, it's funny, but news? It is not. Long story short, get ready to read a whole hell of a lot of drivel inbetween the news stories that are actually, you know, NEWS.