Why so judgemental?

Not going to name names because it's just not that serious, but an old schoolmate of mine posted on their facebook status about how they don't like all the talk about it being '4/20' and how they were glad they didn't have to say anything to their students to stop talking about it. What makes them feel so entitled that they have to go so far as to judge other people? When I took a step back to think about it, I realized that I'm not that far from the pot calling the kettle black. In the last two blogs (and really just my overall decorum) I'm a pretty tempermental complainer that'll judge even the smallest of situations. The blogs will diversify more and more as the days go on and the topics flow more freely, though I don't know if I want to break down into any long term topics just yet. I've got wrestling every Monday that I could give overviews on. Then again, there's a huge stack of DVD's that I could make reviews for. Football season is coming up and I'm becoming a more and more involved Oakland Raiders fan as the years dredge on.

My only concern with picking topics is my typical decline in interest, a short-term lack of desire, or just an overall laziness that's been about me my entire life. On the other hand, it'll give me more things to blog about and expand the depth in which I go with my writing. In the air, it's all in the air.

Why is THAT news?

Taylor Swift didn't win anything at the ACMA's, oh DAAARN for her. What inside me is supposed to give a shit about that exactly? My guess as to why she didn't win anything is because people are FINALLY over that stupid Kanye West incident, but that's my guess. A guess that never really needed to cross my mind, yet and still there are stories covering things as miniscule as this... and even worse. Why am I being updated on Larry King's divorce (or lack thereof), why is it important that someone captured a photograph of Stedman checking out Oprah's assets? I find it even more creepy that these ridiculous stories actually captivate my attention. For example, there's a very apparent infestation of locusts in Australia. Their answer? Put it on pizza. How deliciously mundane. Seriously though, what's the purpose of telling me about a man who let his eleven year old drive? WHY IS THAT NEWS?

The most simplistic of answers is this: it isn't. Nobody really cares about this crap, but the poor bastard that wasted a good two or three hours of his life on the report just wanted to keep his job and part of that does indeed include putting out some pretty drivel-tastic 'news' in an effort to buff up his current resume. No news stories = no job, so I can't exactly hate these people for doing what they do. They simply need to feed their families just like you or me. Granted, sometimes the stories can be a little comical. Like the poor guy that put together a cookbook and published 20,000 of them before realizing that one of his recepies called for "salt and freshly ground black people". Yes, it's funny, but news? It is not. Long story short, get ready to read a whole hell of a lot of drivel inbetween the news stories that are actually, you know, NEWS.

Headlines.

Why is it that the writers in all corners of the Earth try their hardest to catch your attention with the least amount of words as humanly possible? All while still considering it a legitimately complete sentence. Why? Because it's catchy as shit and we're all as dumb as the goldfish we had as pets when we were kids, that's why. I'll admit that even I have been hoodwinked by a catchy title in my day. Just today I was dumbfounded by what appeared (to me) to be another lame C movie plotline, but oh no! It was real. The headline read "Remains of 2 people found in trash bags" which immediately made me go 'NUH UHHH'. This particular headline wasn't even that cut up. The rest of the headline read "in New Jersey, officials say". My first thought is 'well, that explains the smell.' up until that minute little tidbit resurfaced on my brain. Officials say? Did you seriously need officials to say what you can obviously see and smell with your own orifices?

Ladies and gentlemen, I find that this nonsensical rigmaroll has been going on for faaaar tooooo looooooong. How exactly are we benefitting from those two words? Are people going to read the article in disbeleif and say 'no way, that could not have happened. I mean, come on, where are the officials?'. Jesahovas, that's as bad as the population of journalists and otherwise intelligent people having to use the word allegedly when we know they did it. We know O.J. killed his wife. We know Tiger had sex with all those women. WE KNOW CATHOLIC PREISTS TOUCH ALTER BOYS. I know what the real problem is, though, it's the fact that this whole planet is so moneyhungry that they'll find the slightest hole to sue the shit out of you. I'm no saint myself, but isn't greed one of the seven deadly sins?

Well, now that I've pitterpattered around the original topic, I think I'll leave you with one final thought. Headlines are like one night stands. Sure, they can be fun or exciting or maybe even sound like a good idea; however, when you open it up and get that first repugnant whif? It's already too late.

Moral of the story: allegedly, "there isn't one," officials say.

The first of a downpour?

In the world of blogging, there are those that conform to the popular opinion and there are those who form their own. You're about to delve into a mind that is completely of the latter. Certainly, there will be times where my opinion isn't far off from what is widely beleived to be the acceptable norm; however, more often than not, you're going to get a House-esque responce that just might make you think about whatever it is that's being widely discussed. Furthermore, since this blog will most likely be a misplaced ink splotch in the fabric of the world wide web for some time to come (perhaps even forever), the posts won't inquire too far into what the readers feel or beleive. This isn't to say that I don't welcome your critiques, opinions, and everything in-between. It's just to say that this will be but a venting point for me to rant and rave about absolutely anything that comes to mind. With that being said, it is my hope to bring this blog to the light of day and expose myself to the world in efforts of putting my name out there in the long term.

If you don't know me, you'd have no idea that I'm a longtime writer with aspirations of becoming a stand-up comedian out of Sacramento. In our current economic state, on top of my unemployment, it only seems right to pass some of the otherwise mundane moments of my life (sometimes) pandering to the social inequities that might slip through the cracks of someone else's fingers. So, in essence, this first blog is just to tell you that I'm just another opinionated jackhole who will use all the wit in his repertoire to make you think, laugh, or maybe just inform.

Until then, this was the world's most unknown Flipocrite...