SLUM born -- COLLEGE bound?

The last month has had it's fair amount of rollercoaster up-downs in it, which anyone could expect; however, I've recently come to terms with the fact that my 5 1/2 years experience in the customer service industry isn't exactly superb on a resume. No, Denny's isn't an awful restaurant. Safeway isn't terrible with their groceries either, but really? Who cares that I passed groceries through a scanner for a year and a half? Nobody. Not in this economy, at least, which brings me to the overbearing fact that it's about time I do the right thing. I didn't think this was even an option for a long time due to the simple fact that I'm not the type to take out school loans, whether I can deter them or not, for a peice of paper that may or may NOT get me where I need to be at the end of the day. This, what I'm doing - the why I'm going about it, is quite different.

With the Pell grant, alongside the very nice BOGw (Board of Governor's waiver, something used in CA to relinquish class costs for students at junior colleges), it looks like your boy Flipper's gonna get a completely free ride, walk away with an AA in Journalism / Mass Media, and maybe even have the ability to get scholarships enough to push for a transef and turn the Associate's degree into a Bachelor's alongside it.

Sometimes I can pretty much tell when people either take me seriously or take me like a joke. A lot of people choose the latter, and through no fault of their own since I'm the total jokester all day 24/7/365... but when said joke-a-holic goes to college? "Oh, don't overburden yourself all at once." Umm, I'm sorry, but in my book - you either go or you don't. Yes, there are certain circumstances that cause people to go short-term or even part-time due to this or that, but that's not my case. I'm borderline homeless, I don't have time to piddle-paddle and stick my feet into the water one toe at a time. It's shit or get off the fucking pot, FFS. I don't mind detractors; furthermore, I LOVE THEM. They push me to do my best because they think they're better than me at their worst.

Short of that, it looks like I'll be a full-time student and of course aspiring like no other to beast on the mic with my stand-up. Journalism should be a condusive middle ground as it'll not only keep me in tune with the mainstream, current events, etc, but it also gives me some exp. in speaking in front of large groups of people staring anxiety right through me. WHOOO!

So, in conclusion, I'll be writing more blogs to keep my mind gunning for the goal. AA in two years in the target; we'll have to wait and see what I acheive.

Endearing Tragedy

The draft was looking 100% terrible in the first round as Oakland Raiders (8th pick) choose Linebacker Rolando McClain. As I've already said, I hope this guy's related to John; otherwise, at 6'3''/250 lbs? He better hit like Romanowski and run like Tiger Woods when his wife is in pursuit. Typical Raiders to pick up a defensive player in the first round and continue the trend through most of the rest of the draft with 6/9 players (2nd pick, DT Lamarr Houston; 5th pick, DB Walter McFadden; 6th pick, LB Travis Goethel; 7th pick, DB Jeremy Ware - DB Stevie Brown) drafted being on red zone duty, 3 of which being Defensive backs. The other 3 players (3rd pick, OT Jared Veldheer; 4th OT Bruce Campbell - WR Jacoby Ford) were quite random to say the least. Yes, Oakland had a terrible offensive line seeing as how the quarterbacks got sacked a total of 49 times. Not to mention the fact that there were only 17 touchdowns scored for the entire 09-10 season AND the whopping 29% turnover rate on third down. Our only bright side: we still have Janikowski, who went 26/29 field goals... yeah, sure, let's win our games three points at a time.

So, it's obvious my beloved silver and black are in a bit of a pinch and have been ever since the squandering head coach problem began once Gruden went over to the Bucs. I haven't looked into any of the drafter players, nor did I follow a single one of them during their days in college ball, but I've got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night if you know what I mean. Jacoby Ford's history states that not only is he a damn good receiver, but he's one hell of a kick return too.

Then there's Jason Campbell, the quarterback we got in trade from the Washington Redskins. He's been playing with that franchise his whole career and has been getting better with age. Given that their offensive line was worse than ours AND we've got loads of better offensive talent, this could turn out to be quite the explosive year for my beloved team. THE ORIGINAL DYNASTY, SON. I can't wait until we whoop those damn fairies... and this time it means something.

Endearing tragedy?

Why so judgemental?

Not going to name names because it's just not that serious, but an old schoolmate of mine posted on their facebook status about how they don't like all the talk about it being '4/20' and how they were glad they didn't have to say anything to their students to stop talking about it. What makes them feel so entitled that they have to go so far as to judge other people? When I took a step back to think about it, I realized that I'm not that far from the pot calling the kettle black. In the last two blogs (and really just my overall decorum) I'm a pretty tempermental complainer that'll judge even the smallest of situations. The blogs will diversify more and more as the days go on and the topics flow more freely, though I don't know if I want to break down into any long term topics just yet. I've got wrestling every Monday that I could give overviews on. Then again, there's a huge stack of DVD's that I could make reviews for. Football season is coming up and I'm becoming a more and more involved Oakland Raiders fan as the years dredge on.

My only concern with picking topics is my typical decline in interest, a short-term lack of desire, or just an overall laziness that's been about me my entire life. On the other hand, it'll give me more things to blog about and expand the depth in which I go with my writing. In the air, it's all in the air.

Why is THAT news?

Taylor Swift didn't win anything at the ACMA's, oh DAAARN for her. What inside me is supposed to give a shit about that exactly? My guess as to why she didn't win anything is because people are FINALLY over that stupid Kanye West incident, but that's my guess. A guess that never really needed to cross my mind, yet and still there are stories covering things as miniscule as this... and even worse. Why am I being updated on Larry King's divorce (or lack thereof), why is it important that someone captured a photograph of Stedman checking out Oprah's assets? I find it even more creepy that these ridiculous stories actually captivate my attention. For example, there's a very apparent infestation of locusts in Australia. Their answer? Put it on pizza. How deliciously mundane. Seriously though, what's the purpose of telling me about a man who let his eleven year old drive? WHY IS THAT NEWS?

The most simplistic of answers is this: it isn't. Nobody really cares about this crap, but the poor bastard that wasted a good two or three hours of his life on the report just wanted to keep his job and part of that does indeed include putting out some pretty drivel-tastic 'news' in an effort to buff up his current resume. No news stories = no job, so I can't exactly hate these people for doing what they do. They simply need to feed their families just like you or me. Granted, sometimes the stories can be a little comical. Like the poor guy that put together a cookbook and published 20,000 of them before realizing that one of his recepies called for "salt and freshly ground black people". Yes, it's funny, but news? It is not. Long story short, get ready to read a whole hell of a lot of drivel inbetween the news stories that are actually, you know, NEWS.

Headlines.

Why is it that the writers in all corners of the Earth try their hardest to catch your attention with the least amount of words as humanly possible? All while still considering it a legitimately complete sentence. Why? Because it's catchy as shit and we're all as dumb as the goldfish we had as pets when we were kids, that's why. I'll admit that even I have been hoodwinked by a catchy title in my day. Just today I was dumbfounded by what appeared (to me) to be another lame C movie plotline, but oh no! It was real. The headline read "Remains of 2 people found in trash bags" which immediately made me go 'NUH UHHH'. This particular headline wasn't even that cut up. The rest of the headline read "in New Jersey, officials say". My first thought is 'well, that explains the smell.' up until that minute little tidbit resurfaced on my brain. Officials say? Did you seriously need officials to say what you can obviously see and smell with your own orifices?

Ladies and gentlemen, I find that this nonsensical rigmaroll has been going on for faaaar tooooo looooooong. How exactly are we benefitting from those two words? Are people going to read the article in disbeleif and say 'no way, that could not have happened. I mean, come on, where are the officials?'. Jesahovas, that's as bad as the population of journalists and otherwise intelligent people having to use the word allegedly when we know they did it. We know O.J. killed his wife. We know Tiger had sex with all those women. WE KNOW CATHOLIC PREISTS TOUCH ALTER BOYS. I know what the real problem is, though, it's the fact that this whole planet is so moneyhungry that they'll find the slightest hole to sue the shit out of you. I'm no saint myself, but isn't greed one of the seven deadly sins?

Well, now that I've pitterpattered around the original topic, I think I'll leave you with one final thought. Headlines are like one night stands. Sure, they can be fun or exciting or maybe even sound like a good idea; however, when you open it up and get that first repugnant whif? It's already too late.

Moral of the story: allegedly, "there isn't one," officials say.

The first of a downpour?

In the world of blogging, there are those that conform to the popular opinion and there are those who form their own. You're about to delve into a mind that is completely of the latter. Certainly, there will be times where my opinion isn't far off from what is widely beleived to be the acceptable norm; however, more often than not, you're going to get a House-esque responce that just might make you think about whatever it is that's being widely discussed. Furthermore, since this blog will most likely be a misplaced ink splotch in the fabric of the world wide web for some time to come (perhaps even forever), the posts won't inquire too far into what the readers feel or beleive. This isn't to say that I don't welcome your critiques, opinions, and everything in-between. It's just to say that this will be but a venting point for me to rant and rave about absolutely anything that comes to mind. With that being said, it is my hope to bring this blog to the light of day and expose myself to the world in efforts of putting my name out there in the long term.

If you don't know me, you'd have no idea that I'm a longtime writer with aspirations of becoming a stand-up comedian out of Sacramento. In our current economic state, on top of my unemployment, it only seems right to pass some of the otherwise mundane moments of my life (sometimes) pandering to the social inequities that might slip through the cracks of someone else's fingers. So, in essence, this first blog is just to tell you that I'm just another opinionated jackhole who will use all the wit in his repertoire to make you think, laugh, or maybe just inform.

Until then, this was the world's most unknown Flipocrite...